Your Face Doesn’t Need That: TikTok’s ‘Menstrual Mask’ Is The Biohazard We Deserve
Just when you thought the digital abyss couldn’t possibly get any deeper. You thought we’d hit rock bottom with challenges that were just thinly veiled property damage. You were wrong. So, so wrong. The wellness-to-conspiracy-theory pipeline has delivered its magnum opus, a user-generated-content nightmare that makes eating Tide Pods look like a responsible life choice. They’re calling it the “menstrual mask.”
Yes. It is exactly what you think it is. The for-you-page, in its infinite, horrifying wisdom, has convinced a subset of humanity that the secret to glowing skin isn’t retinol or hydration, but smearing their own period blood on their face. The “logic,” if you can call it that, is a Frankenstein’s monster of half-baked buzzwords like “stem cells” and “rich nutrients.” Influencers stare into their ring lights, faces covered in a literal blood mask, and whisper about ancient rituals and all-natural skincare, conveniently ignoring the fact that blood exiting the body is not sterile and is, in fact, a fantastic breeding ground for some truly gnarly bacteria. This isn’t skincare; it’s a DIY biohazard.
For a glow that says “I’m deeply in tune with my body’s cycles” and also “I have a burgeoning staph infection.”
This isn’t even the first time the algorithm has tried to turn your body into a science experiment for clicks. The platform’s obsession with bizarre “hacks” has a long and storied history, from people trying to get high off nutmeg to that one glorious week when everyone was convinced the cure for congestion was a vibrating sex toy pressed against their nose. It’s a relentless content churn where virality trumps sanity, and medical advice is crowdsourced from teenagers who think “research” means watching three other TikToks on the same topic.
So here we are. The logical endpoint of authenticity culture. We’ve gone from “no-makeup makeup” to using actual bodily fluids as a topical treatment. You have to respect the hustle. The algorithm demands a sacrifice, and the aspiring influencers have answered, offering up their own faces on the altar of engagement. Forget vampires; the real bloodsuckers are the apps on your phone.
