UK Prime Minister Achieves Peak Cringe, Apologizes for Being Chronically Offline
This is it. This is the moment the simulation finally ran out of original ideas and just started recycling its own B-roll. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, a man who presumably has access to nuclear codes and important economic data, was filmed leading a classroom of children in a TikTok dance. Not just any dance. A dance that was banned by that very school.
You can’t write this stuff. For those of you who have blessedly logged off for a few months, the dance in question is tethered to the now-ancient 6-7 meme, a digital ghost that most of us had already exorcised from our feeds weeks ago. It was a beautiful, stupid flash in the pan. Now it’s a matter of state. Keir Starmer, with the rigid, pained enthusiasm of a dad trying to floss at a wedding, performed the forbidden moves for a photo-op. The resulting footage is a masterpiece of secondhand embarrassment that should be preserved in the British Museum next to the Rosetta Stone.
Somewhere, a 24-year-old social media advisor who pitched this as “a great way to connect with the youth” is now updating their LinkedIn profile and contemplating a new life as an alpaca farmer. The brief was simple: seem relatable. The result: an international incident of uncoolness.
Naturally, the apology came swiftly. An official statement. For a meme. A spokesperson for the Prime Minister had to clarify that he was “unaware” he was participating in a banned cultural artifact, as if he’d accidentally accepted a stolen Fabergé egg. This isn’t just a politician being out of touch; this is a temporal anomaly. It’s like getting a telegram about the launch of the Zune. The internet’s lifecycle for a trend is about 48 hours. By the time it reaches Parliament, it’s practically a fossil.
So let us all observe a moment of silence. Not for the Prime Minister’s dignity, which was clearly a casualty here, but for the purity of the meme. Once a politician apologizes for you, you’re no longer just internet culture. You’re evidence in a future inquiry into the terminal decline of everything. God save the King, and may God have mercy on his government’s TikTok strategy.
