Your Face Doesn’t Need That: TikTok’s ‘Menstrual Mask’ Is The Biohazard We Deserve
Just when you thought the digital abyss couldn’t possibly get any deeper. You thought we’d hit rock bottom with challenges that were just thinly veiled property damage. You were wrong. So, so wrong. The wellness-to-conspiracy-theory pipeline has delivered its magnum opus, a skin treatment so profoundly unhinged it makes Gwyneth’s jade eggs look like FDA-approved medical devices.
Welcome to the era of the “menstrual mask.” Yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. Influencers, in a desperate bid for views and a twisted performance of “natural” living, are advocating for smearing their own period blood on their faces. As a facial. They call it a “moon mask,” which is some next-level branding for what is essentially a DIY biohazard.
The claims are as wild as the practice itself. They whisper of stem cells, of rich nutrients, of a primal connection to the lunar cycle that will leave your skin glowing. What they don’t mention is the bacteria, the potential for infection, and the very real possibility of horrifying anyone who makes the mistake of FaceTiming you. This comes, of course, from the same algorithmic fever dream that suggested you clear your congestion with a sex toy, so maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that scientific literacy isn’t a top priority.
A quick dispatch from the front lines of sanity: If your skincare routine requires you to question basic hygiene and could potentially transmit bloodborne pathogens, you might have been scrolling for too long. Log off. Touch grass. Maybe use some damn Cetaphil.
This isn’t just a weird trend. It’s the logical endpoint of an online culture that monetizes shock and conflates “natural” with “good” without a single critical thought. We’ve created a system where the most bizarre, visually arresting content wins, regardless of whether it’s helpful or actively harmful. The algorithm doesn’t care about your staph infection; it just cares that you watched, you clicked, you commented “OMG is this real?”
So go ahead, internet. Chase that primal glow. Your dermatologist and your therapist will be waiting for your call. They always are.
